My Blog Has Not Been Getting Enough Press Coverage, So I Have Posted Some Old Commie Jokes To Lure The CIA To This Blog!

Question: Does China have rockets powerful enough to reach the moon?

Answer: They don't need rockets. If the Chinese communist Party ordered, their people just would step on each other's shoulders and this way they can reach even the sun.


Question: Is it possible to sit down on a porcupine with a naked ass?

Answer: It's possible on three occasions, to wit:

1. If you first shave the porcupine;

2. If it is not yours but somebody else's ass; and

3. If that's the will of the Party.

Question: Was it possible to criticize Hitler?

Answer: Sure. The same way as you criticized Stalin. You had to lock yourself in your bedroom, hide under two, or better three covers, place a pillow, or better two pillows on top of the blankets over your head, and then whisper whatever your soul wishes about the dictator, strictly adhering to a five-minute limit.

Question: Which tea is better, Chinese of Soviet-grown?

Answer: Don't mix up in the confrontation between the superpowers. Drink coffee.

Question: When Nixon visited Moscow, he and Khrushchev ran around the Kremlin in a race. Nixon came the first. How should our media report on that?

Answer: The report should be as follows: In the international running competition the General Secretary of the Communist Party took the honorable second place. Mister Nixon came in one before last.

Question: Why policemen always walk the streets in teams of three?

Answer: The partners in the police team are always chosen in such a way that one of them knows how to read, the other how to write, and the third one, naturally, has to keep watch over those two intellectuals.

Question: What if socialism were built in Sahara?

Answer: First sand would become available only through ration cards, and then sand would be distributed only to the Politburo members.


Question: What is the difference between the Constitutions of the USA and USSR? Both guarantee freedom of speech.

Answer: Yes, but the Constitution of the USA also guarantees freedom after the speech.


Question: Are there questions you can't answer?

Answer: No. We approach our job in accordance with the Marx' dialectics. To any question we can give any answer.


Question: What was the main problem our pilots encountered during Korean war and during the war in Vietnam?

Answer: In both wars, our pilots had to operate their planes with one hand only, the other hand busy pulling the corners of their eyes to keep them slanted.


Question: Is there life on other planets?

Answer: On other planets there is also no life.


Question: Why Solzhenitsyn, Brodsky, Bukovsky, and other dissidents have been exiled from the country?

Answer: Don't you know that the best products are always selected for export?